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Damn bunny came out of nowhere - My Little Corner of the World
sams1ra
sams1ra
Damn bunny came out of nowhere
It's Summergen time, and finally, there's something to read.

Maybe that's why this bunny came at me, cuddling at me feet and biting into my muse.

Teen!Dean or twenty-something Dean gets someone killed during a hunt. An innocent, civilian. He doesn't shoot the guy or anything, just doesn't get there in time or whatever. It's one of his firsts hunts and he had to twist John's arm to go solo. John gave him some of the intel, Dean had to figure it out and he figured it wrong. He did some pretty impressive thinking on his feet, maybe saved someone and definitely got rid of the monster, but someone did die because of a mistake he made - a guy or a woman with kids waiting for them at home - and Dean blames himself.

John catches him getting in the car after finishing a bottle of alcohol he wasn't supposed to drink and rips him a new one (for drinking and driving, and for drinking at all), which does nothing to help Dean's guilt, and John sees him slipping.

He sends Dean to Pastor Jim, thinking the pastor could help, but Dean isn't that big on religion and even though he tries and does the "outside" things right - he's eating himself with guilt so much that Jim calls John, tells him what the boy needs most is his Dad and not a God he doesn't believe in.

John comes back, gets Dean drunk cuz that's the only way Dean would talk. He's kinda shocked of how guilty Dean feels, especially since the intel John had sent him with was wrong. Tells Dean if it's anyone's fault, it's John's, but Dean's not buying it. He still has John on a pedestel, saying John would have figured it ouf in time, that he wouldn't have mess up that bad, and John's having a hard time convincing him otherwise.

John tells him stories - mabye stories about 'Nam, maybe about Bill Harvell - but trying to prove he's not perfect.

In the end, Dean sort of passes out from the alcohol, but there would be a father-son moment, and even though Dean is Dean - meaning he will never forgive himself - he does feel a little better.

Wish someone would write it down, cuz I sure as hell won't. *sigh*
No more SPN writing for me.

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Current Mood: melancholy melancholy

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Comments
superbadgirl From: superbadgirl Date: July 23rd, 2011 07:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Why no more SPN for you, if you have a bunny? I can see if you've no inspiration, but if it's there, why ignore it?
sams1ra From: sams1ra Date: July 24th, 2011 01:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was never lacking in SPN bunnies.
Thing is, it doesn't feel worth it. Writing SPN used to be fun. Now it's more like work. And there are so few of us who read genfics, and if you're not a bigshot...
It just doesn't feel worth it, you know?
Maybe if there was more gen around, my muse would force me to write, but I don't really see that happening.
superbadgirl From: superbadgirl Date: July 24th, 2011 04:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fair points. I know I've been kind of bummed at summergen this year. Both in some of the stories and the amount of feedback mine hasn't gotten (yes, it's up).

But it's somewhat ironic to not write gen because there isn't enough gen out there, isn't it?
sams1ra From: sams1ra Date: July 24th, 2011 05:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I haven't even gotten to reading the summergen this year. I just... lost the passion, you know?

And no, I don't think it's ironic, since the main reason there's no gen fics out there is cuz no one's interested in reading them. Or at least, not enough to make it worth while.

I mean, just look at spnstoryfinders. Everyone is asking for slash, so why bother?
pinkphoenix1985 From: pinkphoenix1985 Date: August 5th, 2011 10:26 am (UTC) (Link)
I totally understand *hugs* I am writing two SPN fics now but they're centered around Sam and it's been tough...they just might be among of the last I write for Supernatural
sams1ra From: sams1ra Date: August 5th, 2011 06:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Summergen felt like work, and I'm pretty sure it reads like it, too. Not really expecting much in way of comments, cuz I think the story is... far from being my best, putting it mildly.
I had a great idea for a fic that I've been toying with for years now - and I just took the best scene and used it in this one, and totally ruined it.
*sighs*
I've fallen out of love with SPN a long time ago. I think the only thing keeping me in this fandom is momentum.
Even Dean has lost his appeal. He doesn't feel like a real character anymore. :(
pinkphoenix1985 From: pinkphoenix1985 Date: August 7th, 2011 08:29 am (UTC) (Link)
You did Summergen? Oh I didn't know...I haven't been reading much of fanfic this summer because of RL

Hon, I'm sorry *HUGS* you and I are in the same boat. I just don't like the characters anymore and I can relate...

Admittedly, I have two fan fictions in the works...one will be posted next week and the other is a big bang. It is going to be my swan song to the fandom and writing Supernatural unless something drastic happens...

the big bang is a S6 AU and revolves around Sam and the Campbells. At the time I had signed up for it I just couldn't think of a brother story including Dean...
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